Brutal Kiddo : Whatsoever

Assalamualaikum and yow fellas!

K. Okay. First of all. I was just read what u guys wrote. I never refresh this blog or maybe my line were just too slow till I dont get the latest post. I just 'view blog' because that day Sieg said she had renovated this blog. So I just wanna cekidout.

Okay. Well yes FF. I was shocked to heard that. Well its okay. U're not lying. But u were just not ready to tell us. Its okay. Everyone had their own story, right? Small matter. I didnt mean ur story is a small things. Its a big thing of course. And yeah. I just realized how TABAH u are. I respect that. Iam. Really.

For GTM I was kinda shocked too. What kind of school u get into? With that kind of people who only know to control and tell what u need to do. Well of course when u think back, there is a reason why did they controlling u and what so ever. And u too. Such a TABAH GTM hahaha. I didnt realize that.

For siegrich. U annoy me. Cause change ur name banyak kali hahahah. But its okay. Whatever. As u wish. And I didnt saw the different of this blog. Well maybe I opened it on my phone not lappy or computer. I'll cekidout it later okeng.

So, all in all. Ceh. After read u guys post, I was just realize how bless Iam. And thankyou for the story. Because it teach me to be thankful with what I got. Well I got nothing to complained with my life actually. Just I tho I already got the tough ujian. But no actually. Silly me hahaha

For me, It was just an easy things to adapt with them. Just, 1month before it was hard. Its not tough at all. To think bout it back, its just a small things. Because I tho this was just a small things, maka kerana itu aku nggak punya apa² perasaan. Walaupun kadang I got homesick and missing my parents. But its not that bad. Conclusion, aku jenis yg mudah alih perasaan hahahaha. Mungkin aku nda setia? Gosh hahahaha. K merapu dah

Brutal Kiddo : My Words

Assalamualaikum and hello guys

Its been a long time,
Without u my friends.....

So okay. Its been a long time I didnt even posted anything. Iam not busy. But I got no idea or Iam just too lazy to post something hahahah. And FYI, Iam not that rajin today. Iam lazy. But I feel want to share something with you guys hohoho

How months I've been staying here? Just about 1month and something. Tolak yang sebelum raya la. Kalau tambah yang sebelum raya tu, around 2months and something juga aku di sini. Well thats not count.

Before come back here after eids day. I was scared and worried I cant manage my own feeling. Because I'll be staying here around 3months I guess. InshaAllah.

So as u guys(readers) dont know, GTM was home yesterday. Yes! She's going back to Sabah. But just for a week. And yes Iam so jealous of it hahahah. Bcos Iam having a homesick right now.

I got nothing to say actually. Just, I miss M4 and I miss those moments. Those craziest moments hahahah. InshaAllah I'll be home on 31 october. InshaAllah. I dont know whether I'll be staying here or move in to Sabah. I dont know. Maybe I should asked The Creater, right?

Bcos of the 'I dont know to stay or to move', so I still got no idea to buy my ticket to come back here hahahah. Weeks ago, I was just fine here. Feel like I dont wanna move. Then recently, the heart is saying 'just move out. Go back to Sabah' so its a KIV decision la hahahah.

So I guess thats all I wanna say. Pardon me for the really broken grammar. Seriously Iam sorry gahahahah

Fake Face : Holaa :)

Hello n hye you all..

First of all, its been a long time that I haven't update anything about myself. since Im too busy with my study. Study medical profession is not easy as u expect than agriculture course that I had studied before. Chewarhh, skema juga tu ayat kann. 

Hurmm, today im gonna tell u all about the truth of myself that u do not know. I dunno why suddenly I want to tell u guys about mylife. As long as u know that my grammar is not so good as u all, so faham-faham lah kalo broken English tu. Hehehe.

And im telling u my life story is not asking for ur symphatize but its just a sharing from me and because u are my bestfriend of all that I had. And when u read this, please don’t feel symphatize  on me, cause I don’t like it. Bah, let me start my story… jeng..jeng..jeng..

Urmm, u know what. So many things that Im jealous with u guys. U have a blissful family and no worries. Everything u need, they always by ur side. But, Im all alone. I dunno why I feel that way. Yups, people doesn't  know who the real myself.

As u know im FakeFace, so much things that I hide from all of u. It doesnt mean that u are not my bestfriend, but its to hard for me to tell everything. Everytime im thinking about my life, I want to cry. Want to die, kill myself and throw myself away from this life.

My father was pass away since im 7 y/o and im the first saw him lay down on the floor. U know what, so much things that I regret. If time can be rotate, I want to spend my time with my father. Learn Mandarin and play with him. But, I don't have that memory. I also don’t even know my father's family. Never knew they are still exist or not.

And my mom. She have skizofrenia in other words mental problem. Yeah, this part is really hard for me to accept it. I know that u may think that Im lying, but it was the reality. U don’t realize it when u are talking with her before.  All of my uncle, aunty, cousin and everyone know my moms disease. 

Everytime I met with them, I feel ashamed and angry and I say why God give me a mom like that? Why?? Im crying myself. No one knew and no one understand me. Everytime I meet with my aunty, they ask me the same thing ‘macam mana mamamu, sihat juga?’ Im so sad and ashamed.

And when she sicks, she will say something that innocent like that TV is talking something bad about herself, and she also talk about politic and sometimes she will say that someone like my aunty trying to give her poison and kill her. But, it was just her hallucination and it will happen once in a month.

Pernah tu my mom pegi tempat orang sembahyang kuburan, and dia kena bagi minum kopi. Dari sna dia start rasa  sakit dada, and she suspect that dia kena bagi racun. So, the terrible things is she go to the hospital 3 or 4  times in that weeks. And, Im so ashamed with my aunty because for my mom, I have to ask their help to go hospital at late night.

And I also do not know if it was just hallucination or real pain, but after the MA do vital sign, everything is normal. And pernah juga, masa tu dlm bas. My mom talking innocent, and I can see riak muka org tu tgk my mom lain2. That time mmg malu plus marah, benci pun ada. 

Honestly, I said. I have face all of this since im 7 y/o. And now, I can accept my moms conditition. I know God have created its own plan for every His child. I want to cure my mom.

And also u should know about myself, I never celebrated my birthday for the whole my life. this year was my first  year celebrated birthday with cake. It was my first bufday cake even though saya beli share dengan cousin. Hehehe.

What more ahh? Urmm, my family not as u thought. We have not good relationship. And I forget to tell u guys that both of my bro have married this year secara party kecil-kecilan saja. No budgets.

Ahhh, one things that u should know lagi about myself. Saya bukan gila duit sebab saya mata duitan, but I want to collect more and more money so that I can help my family in the future. Im the only hope for my mom since my brother teda yang kerja kerajaan.

I also have another responsible, to take care my aunty that have elephansiasis (kaki gajah) and my grandma. That’s why laa sampai mau botak sudah kepala ni fikir pasal hidup. Harap lepas luah dalam ni blog kurang sudh stress ni. Hehehe.

Thats all laa from me. I know u’ll shocked when u know the truth of Y** **** **** I want to say sorry for everythings that I lie and hide from u guys. Doesn’t mean to do that. K lahh, so much things that I said. Hahahaha.  Wish me luck for my exam tomorrow, mau mati ja nda ni study.. . Bye2